So I have been applying to everything and anything from Temporary Bathroom Sweeper to CIO and it is not fun. My work history for the past few years is spotty at best, and that -never- looks good on a resume. The problem is I just mostly have to hope they either don’t bring it up, or are satisfied with some kind of unspecified “medical reasons, but it’s all under control now, thanks!” sort of excuse. The whole addiction thing is something that gets a fat black line drawn through your name after a first interview. And frankly, it really isn’t anyone’s business.

At any rate, I have an interview tomorrow. It is at the same place where Badr works, so the commute would be fantastic. It’s not necessarily my dream job, and it is entry level, but I’ll take what I can get. Plus it seems to be a really nice place to work and they tend to promote from within.

So wish me luck, all 2 of you. :)

And then one day in 8th grade, the 3 nerdiest girls in the grade almost got suspended.

See, we were all a bit obsessed with Anne of Green Gables. Beautiful Prince Edward Island, being a smart girl who got teased, Anne’s wonderful friendship with Diana, and then… Gilbert Blythe. We all kinda fell for his attitude. At any rate, we would bring the books to school and read them aloud to each other (I told you!).

One day we were wandering around the school property (8th graders were allowed to walk anywhere on the school ground, cause we were that grown up) and we saw this stand of trees across a field about a half-mile wide. For some reason, we decided that it would be fine to head on over. So we trekked across the field, reassuring each other that there was no way we would be caught and we would definitely be back on time.

I’m still glad I went. Inside the stand of trees, which formed an almost perfect circle, was a little clearing. The ground was carpeted in violets. It was one of those places you think only exists in a book. As I went into the center, I saw something white, and upon closer inspection, realized that it was a bleached fox skull. No other bones, just the skull, like someone had placed it there just for us. We sat under a tree and got lost in our books. Some time later, someone looked up and noticed that the sun was no longer directly overhead, as it should have been at lunch time. Unfortunately, we did not go to a large school. We graduated in a class of 32. It wouldn’t be hard to notice that 3 of us were missing.

Let the panic begin!!

We went tear-assing out of there, running across the field. At the edge of the field stood the Vice Principal. Eeek. I seriously thought we were going to be thrown out. I am proud to report that I was the only one who did not cry like a little baby (no, really, I was a tough bitch even then…ahahahaha). We were marched into the Principal’s office and asked to explain ourselves. So, because other people were too busy sobbing, I explained. And I could tell from the look on the Principal’s face when I was done (I left nothing out, I even gushed about the fox skull) that we were in no trouble at all. I’m pretty certain she was trying not to laugh. After all that, she didn’t even call our parents.

We returned to class, and were treated like minor celebrities for the remainder of the afternoon.

I’m not the type to sit around all day stuffing donuts and bon-bons into my piehole, either. I eat a normal amount: coffee and possibly some cereal or toast for breakfast, soup or a sandwich for lunch, and a dinner that’s heavy on the veggies, with some meat and either brown rice or pasta. I very rarely snack, and when I do it’s more likely to be cherry tomatoes dipped in ranch dressing than a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. I mean, to be sure, I’m pretty sedentary, but that’s not a huge change from the norm or anything.

So what gives? At first, I was convinced it was due to the pretty potent psych meds I was on. Most of them, unfortunately, have the side effect of weight gain, and I was on high doses of 2 of them. But I’ve been off the meds for 5 months now (another issue–no insurance means the meds would cost ~$600 out of pocket–who has that kind of money?) and there’s no change. I mean, I have stopped gaining, but after a 60lb gain in 6 months, you think I would slide down the charts a little. At this point I’m more than a little worried that there’s something larger going on, because I have also been having some trouble with my lady bits. Again, no specialist until insurance. What a f-ed up health system we have.

At any rate, I have begun (well, restarted, I was on a roll for about 3 weeks til I saw something shiny and wandered off) going to the gym for ~1hr a day. Nothing fancy, just 30 mins on the elliptical and 30 mins on the treadmill. I know, some of you are probably laughing right now (”She calls that a workout? HA!”), but as I keep telling myself, it’s better than nothing.

Right??

I have realized lately, however, that my knowledge of all things technical stopped evolving somewhere around 2004. I mean, I can take care of my own machine, do basic maintenance, I know how to download and install *ahem* somewhat illicit software, and I play lots of video games. But when it comes to doing something like editing a .php file, or fixing a damn WP stylesheet? Can’t do it without scouring teh internets.

The really sad part is that this used to motivate me to disappear and devour every iota of information I could find regarding a topic. Now I’m more likely to ask someone else to do it. I mean, I give the obligatory show-me-what-you-did-so-I-can-do-it-myself-next-time speech, but really? I don’t care much. What is happening to me? Is it that I’m getting old? Lazy? Becoming a Luddite?

/whimper