02
Now, I’m not being harsh on myself here. I’ve never been a thin girl, but there’s a difference between being on the heavy side of average and being, well, fat. Which I am at this point.
I’m not the type to sit around all day stuffing donuts and bon-bons into my piehole, either. I eat a normal amount: coffee and possibly some cereal or toast for breakfast, soup or a sandwich for lunch, and a dinner that’s heavy on the veggies, with some meat and either brown rice or pasta. I very rarely snack, and when I do it’s more likely to be cherry tomatoes dipped in ranch dressing than a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. I mean, to be sure, I’m pretty sedentary, but that’s not a huge change from the norm or anything.
So what gives? At first, I was convinced it was due to the pretty potent psych meds I was on. Most of them, unfortunately, have the side effect of weight gain, and I was on high doses of 2 of them. But I’ve been off the meds for 5 months now (another issue–no insurance means the meds would cost ~$600 out of pocket–who has that kind of money?) and there’s no change. I mean, I have stopped gaining, but after a 60lb gain in 6 months, you think I would slide down the charts a little. At this point I’m more than a little worried that there’s something larger going on, because I have also been having some trouble with my lady bits. Again, no specialist until insurance. What a f-ed up health system we have.
At any rate, I have begun (well, restarted, I was on a roll for about 3 weeks til I saw something shiny and wandered off) going to the gym for ~1hr a day. Nothing fancy, just 30 mins on the elliptical and 30 mins on the treadmill. I know, some of you are probably laughing right now (”She calls that a workout? HA!”), but as I keep telling myself, it’s better than nothing.
Right??